resilience – Global #gtchat

How do you define ‘resilience’? This week at #gtchat we discussed what resilience means for gifted children. It refers to protective factors which buffer a person’s response to stressful situations or significant life events. Resilience isn’t fixed. It changes due to circumstances over one’s lifespan. It involves optimism (believing in yourself), persistence (in the face of potential failure), and becoming a good problem solver.

Characteristics often common to gifted children and those children considered resilient include task commitment, a desire to learn, and reflectiveness as well as the ability to dream. Common characteristics of gifted children and resilient children may also include self-control, self-awareness or even risk-taking. In recent years, research has shown that high intelligence contributes to greater resilience. (Bonanno 2004)

Resilience plays a role in the life of 2E students. Twice-exceptional students must deal with others’ perceptions of how ability should influence achievement. Failure to meet those expectations can negatively affect 2E students. These students who may be at higher risk not to develop resilience and be successful could counter risk factors with a network of support from caring and nurturing adults.

Teachers can nurture academic resilience in the classroom by providing an environment where students feel safe and respected. They can act as role models for students by keeping emotions in check around students and encouraging positive interpersonal relationships. Teachers can encourage students to read books about courage in the face of adversity.

Parents can build resilience at home by expressing positive attitudes in difficult situations; displaying emotions such as love, gratitude, and hope; and providing a long-term caring relationship with their child. When young children face an untenable situation, parents can brainstorm with them to understand what is happening and how they might develop a plan to overcome the problem. Parents also need to realize the importance of relinquishing control over their child’s life and allow the child to experience ‘agency’ – being able to solve problems on their own; to take control of their own life’s narrative.

How can we integrate mindfulness, gratitude, and empathy into children’s busy lives? Mindfulness, gratitude and empathy are powerful factors in developing resilience in children and adults need to provide the necessary time to allow them to be integrated into their child’s life. Encourage children to express gratitude when good things happen in their lives and empathy for others who may be having experiences which they haven’t had. Resilience trumps failure and adults can serve as role models who exhibit mindfulness, gratitude and empathy in everyday tasks and when responding to the needs of their children.

We encourage you to view the transcript of this chat which can be found at Wakelet. Then, check out the resources below for more information.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Thursdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Fridays at Noon NZST/10 AM AEST/1 AM UK to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Wakelet. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news and information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Resources:

Sprite’s Site: Revitalization and Resilience

Sprite’s Site: Best Australian Blogs 2012 Part 6

Sprite’s Site: Surviving the Christmas Season

Teaching Tenacity, Resilience, and a Drive for Excellence: Lessons for Social-Emotional Learning for Grades 4-8 (Prufrock Press November 2018)

Developing Resilience in Gifted Students

“Gifted, Bullied, Resilient: A Brief Guide for Smart Families” with author, Pamela Price

An Overview of Resilience in Gifted Children

How Can I Improve My Gifted Child’s Resilience?

Resilience and Gifted Children

Coping 101: Building Persistence and Resilience in Gifted Children

The Implications of Risk and Resilience Literature for Gifted Students with Learning Disabilities

Enhancing Resilience of Gifted Students (pdf)

AUS: The Social Emotional Well-Being of the Gifted Child and Perceptions of Parent and Teacher Social Support (pdf 2018)

UK: Approaches to Measuring Academic Resilience: A Systematic Review (pdf)

Transforming Outstanding Potential in Outstanding Skills by Using Storytelling to Develop Intellectual Abilities of Gifted Students at Risk

Using Mindfulness-Based Strengths Practices with Gifted Populations (pdf)

Management of Anxiety Begins at Home

Building Resilience

Cybraryman’s Critical Thinking Page

Cybraryman’s Learning from Mistakes Page

Cybraryman’s Coping Strategies Page

Cybraryman’s Social and Emotional Learning Page

Cybraryman’s Risk Taking and Innovation Page

Wikipedia: Four Stages of Competence

AUS: Building Resilience in Children

Nurturing Gratitude in Kids 365 Days a Year

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad

This week on #gtchat we welcomed Pamela Price, author of Gifted, Bullied, Resilient: A Brief Guide for Smart Families. This marks the 7th book in the Perspectives in Gifted Homeschooling Series from Gifted Homeschoolers Forum and Pamela’s second book in the series. Her first book was the very popular, How to Work and Homeschool: Practical Advice, Tips and Strategies from Parents. Other titles in the GHF Press series may be found here. Pamela’s blog, “Red, White and Grew with Pamela Price” can be found here.

We first examined ‘why’ gifted kids are bullied. It was a general consensus that gifted kids are seen as ‘different’ and misunderstood. Pamela told us that the “reasons are as varied as individuals, but gifted kids are bullied for “difference” including social and intellectual variance.” Lisa Lauffer of Artisan of Creative Miracles pointed out that “If they’ve skipped a grade, they’re younger and smaller than others, making them easy targets.” Tracy Fisher, TAGT Board Member and Coppell ISD School Board member, added that often “they aren’t as socially savvy” and this, too, leads to bullying. Jo Freitag of Gifted Resources in Australia also mentioned that “gifted kids often have different

Tracy Fisher Coppell School Board — Tracy Fisher, Coppell School Board

interests, mannerisms, vocabulary and sensitivities – prime targets for bullies.” Corin Goodwin, Executive Director of Gifted Homeschoolers Forum, made the astute observation that we must not forget that the bully is often the victim of bullying and needs help as well.

Next, we discussed how adults can help gifted kids rise above bullying to become emotionally stronger and more self-assured. Pamela emphasized that “ALL adult stakeholders (parents, educators) must 1st become more aware of and articulate about social skills. They must think proactively about and teach social skills development. Adults also need to ‘rip off the Bandaid’ and discuss OUR experiences (past and present) with interpersonal aggression.” Mary Lovell said that “educators must differentiate for these kids…help them find their own “social place!” Madeline Goodwin told us that adults need to “give tools [to gifted kids] to handle situations – including an exit strategy for circumstances e.g. class and playgroups.”

How can parents model self-care and resilience; and why is this important? Pamela point out that “we need to stop dismissing our own pain. We need to open up, articulate things, and show the path forward. Parental self-care is essential for family well-being; especially with gifted kids and adults. We must first redefine self-care; not manicures and pedicures, but self-compassion, nurturing intellect, mind-body, etc. Kids and teens look to parents FIRST for social skills models. Self-compassion and care IS part of that. Without true self-compassion, we lack empathy and caring. Risks for negative behaviors then RISE and we lack fuel to manage outcomes. Parents must see themselves as deserving of care and capable of rebound and boundary setting; kids are watching, learning, and absorbing.”

Then, we turned our attention to the role mindfulness plays in supporting a child’s emotional growth. Pamela told us we need to “contrast poised ‘mindful’ with erratic ‘mindless.’ The first is CRITICAL for optimal life experiences. The second will lead to self sabotage. Mindfulness is critical to managing emotions and positive social interaction; especially with overexcitabilities or most social skills deficits. Mindfulness practice nurtures self-acceptance and compassion. It avoids positive/negative hyperbolic self talk.”

At what point is it time to call a therapist? From Pamela:

If there are signs of PTSD or other trauma
If a child or family needs help nurturing positive social skills, a competent therapist can be a great help
Extra consideration for a good therapist should be given if bullying is adult to child. Help build bridge to other adults

Finally, we discussed what steps parents should take in dealing with school bullying and why haven’t zero-tolerance policies worked. “In the school setting, approach is step-wise and up the hierarchy,” said Pamela. She went on to say, “this can work for or against a parent’s confidence. Parental composure is VITAL. No slamming the school or other kids publicly on social media. [If there is] illegal activity, call the police. There is a sample in the book of an email template for dealing with schools. Zero tolerance is a hammer. Real change comes via patience, practice, social change; Learn the difference between “meanness” and “bullying.” A transcript of this week’s chat can be found at Storify.

PLEASE NOTE: Next week’s #gtchat will be at a special day but same time, on Thursday, July 23rd at 7E/6C/5M/4P. We will be LIVE from this year’s Annual SENG Conference in Denver, CO. Our guests will be from the Bright Not Broken Lorna Wing Institute of America and we’ll be chatting about twice-exceptional kids.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Fridays at 7E/6C/5M/4P in the U.S., Midnight in the UK and Saturdays 11 AM NZST/9 AM AEST to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.