Category Archives: anxiety

Strategies for Coping with Impostor Syndrome

gtchat 11162017 Impostor

What is Impostor Syndrome? It’s feeling like you’re going to be found out that you are a fraud. You can never accept or enjoy success or accomplishment. Impostor Syndrome is at the crux of social anxiety; always feeling inadequate. “At university, impostors realize that there are many exceptional people; their own talents and abilities are not atypical. Often dismiss own talents; conclude they’re stupid when not the very best.” (Clance, 1985)

“Impostor Syndrome is when you are (mistakenly) sure that soon it will be obvious to all that you do not really belong in the gifted group.” ~ Jo Freitag, Coordinator – Gifted Resources, Victoria, Australia

Impostor Syndrome can manifest in many different ways such as perfectionism, the person who doesn’t ask for help (go it alone), or setting oneself up as an expert. Impostors can be workaholics (if they just work hard enough, they’ll succeed) or the profoundly gifted (setting the bar even higher).

Those dealing with Impostor Syndrome experience a negative impact on their psychological well-being. Burnout, emotional exhaustion, loss of intrinsic motivation, poor achievement, including guilt and shame about success are reinforced by the Impostor Cycle (Chrisman et al., 1995).

“I see a lot of the self-deprecating imposters. People that talk down about themselves to beat you to it.” ~ Kate Faulkner, Intervention and Enrichment Coordinator for Elementary Science in Sugar Land, TX.

How can family dynamics affect Impostor Syndrome? Family messages about the importance of being naturally intelligent are assumed to influence ambitions and expectations of Impostors from early childhood. (Clance ’85) Impostors have a strong need to please (Bussotti,‘90); may cause children to alter their behavior to prevent loss of affection from parents (Clance,‘85).

“Giftedness manifests in many ways. Some siblings’ gifts fit the academic paradigm, while others’ gifts may go unrecognized.” Jeffrey Farley,M.Ed.,  Principal of Odom Academy, Beaumont ISD, TX.

Perfectionism is a trait that is believed to have a marked impact on the development and maintenance of impostor fears. Impostors set “excessively high, unrealistic goals & then experience self-defeating thoughts and behaviors when they can’t reach those goals” (Kets de Vries, ’05).

There are coping strategies that can be used to overcome Impostor Syndrome. Realize you’re not alone. Many experience Impostor Syndrome; few talk about it. Consider a mentor. If you or someone you know feel overcome by Impostor Syndrome, seek professional help. A transcript of this chat can be found at Storify.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Thursdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Fridays at 2 PM NZST/Noon AEST/1 AM UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news and information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

Head Shot 2014-07-14  About the authorLisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Links:

The Five Types of Impostor Syndrome and How to Beat Them

Feeling like an Impostor? You Can Escape this Confidence-Sapping Syndrome

Is Imposter Syndrome a Sign of Greatness?

The Impostor Phenomenon (pdf)

The Dangers of Feeling Like a Fake

You’re Not Fooling Anyone

The Impostor Phenomenon: Differential Effects of Parenting and the Big-Five Personality Traits (pdf)

7 Coping Strategies to Overcome Impostor Syndrome

The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It (Amazon)

Beating the Impostor Syndrome (Amazon)

The Curious Case of Impostor Syndrome

What Is Impostor Syndrome?

Sprite’s Site: Gifted Island – Testing, testing …

Sprite’s Site: Pleading the Pink Slipper

7 Ways Teachers Can Push Past Imposter Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome.com

Photo courtesy of Pixabay  CC0 Creative Commons

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

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From Tweens to Teens – Making the Transition

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Asynchronous development plays a role in age-peer relations for gifted tweens and teens. Middle school is often a time for making new friends and testing boundaries. Maturity levels greatly affect age-peer relations. Gifted high school students may approach relationships in an adult manner before they’re ready.

Family dynamics also plays a major role in the transition from tween to teen. Parents need to recognize peer influence and provide opportunities for gifted kids to socialize outside of school. Understand that gifted tweens and teens are under more stress to achieve and to compete during the middle school and high school years.

Should gifted services be ‘subject to change’ once students leave elementary school? Giftedness does not begin in 2nd grade & end in 6th; it continues across the lifespan. Gifted services are even more important as gifted students enter middle and high school. They need MORE support; not less.

What should gifted education look like in middle school and high school? Cooperative learning stressed in general education can have inherent limitations for gifted students and exacerbate anxiety for them. Flexible grouping based on ability should be considered as students enter secondary education; pair students with intellectual peers.

Schools have a responsibility to provide guidance to gifted students facing social-emotional issues during the middle to high school transition. The general school population may have very different social-emotional needs at these ages; all should be served. Failure to meet social-emotional needs of middle and high school gifted students in transition can lead to major societal issues later on.

Adults can inspire gifted tweens and teens to develop their gifts and talents. Parents and professionals can serve as role models for gifted tweens and teens. Adults can participate as mentors and career counselors for gifted students as they explore passions and ways to utilize talents. A transcript may be found at Storify.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at 1 PM NZST/11 AM AEST/Midnight UK to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

Head Shot 2014-07-14  About the authorLisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered        by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Links:

Educating Gifted Students in Middle School, 2nd Ed: A Practical Guide (Amazon)

Keepin’ It Real as a 2e Parent

Back Off, Mom & Dad! Fostering Independence in Middle Schoolers

Disorganized Student: Organizing Tips for Middle Schoolers

Parenting Middle Schoolers: 6 Things that Worked for Me

Status of High School Gifted Programs 2013 (pdf)

Gifted (the Movie) Discussion Guide (pdf)

The Handbook of Secondary Gifted Education 2005 (Amazon)

The Efficacy of AP Programs for Gifted Students

How to Raise a Smarter Child, According to Parents of Gifted Kids

Mentoring Gifted Children: It Takes a Village

7 Tips for Parenting Tweens and Teens

Show and Tell – Preparing Gifted Tweens and Teens for the Future

Sprite’s Site: Do you grow out of giftedness?

Cybraryman’s Asynchronous Development Page

Sprite’s Site: Talkfest

Teen Learning Lab

Cybraryman’s Social and Emotional Learning Page

Empathy: Healing the Awkward Heart

Cybraryman’s The Brain and Brain Games Page

What to Say When Other People Interfere with Your Parenting

Photo courtesy of Pixabay CC0 Creative Commons

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

When Gifted Kids Don’t Fit In

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Explaining giftedness to a child is often overlooked; assuming they understand all the intricacies of being identified gifted. It’s important for children to understand; otherwise, they may accept myths perpetuated by society. Being gifted is more than simply academic achievement or excellence in everything. It’s knowing that it is ok to fail or be less than expected.

Anxiety can play a role in a gifted child’s need to ‘fit in’. Adults may place unfair expectations on children based on their perception of ‘gifted’ and that is hard to live up to at times. Just because a child may not ‘fit it’ doesn’t mean they don’t want to and experience anxiety trying to be something they’re not.

Asynchronous development can also affect a gifted kid’s ability to ‘fit in’. For some gifted kids, asynchronous development can severely affect their ability to engage with age-peers. It can affect how adults interact with gifted kids and perceive how they should act.

How can teachers assist gifted students with fitting in at school? It’s helpful if teachers take time to learn about giftedness; increase their understanding of these kids. Teachers’ expectations should not include using students as teacher aides which can be source of bullying for gifted child.

Parents can help to ensure a good fit in the family as well. Like teachers, parents too must take time to learn about and understand what giftedness is and isn’t. They should guard against favoritism; delegation of tasks; and resource allocation of family funds. Parents can also try to provide opportunities for positive interaction with intellectual peers beyond school walls.

Learning the difference between ‘better at’ and ‘better than’ will go a long way in getting accepted by age-peers. Gifted kids should work to understand their abilities. Positive self-image ultimately benefits in how they relate to others. Developing a sense who what’s important to them; gifted kids may decide not to go along with the crowd to fit in.

An important take-away from the chat was that although it’s natural for kids to want to fit in with age-peers; conversely, gifted kids should also learn that it’s also okay not to ‘fit in’ if they don’t want to do so. A transcript of this chat may be found at Storify.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at 1 PM NZST/11 AM AEDT/1 AM UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

Head Shot 2014-07-14  About the authorLisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered        by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Links:

When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answers: How to Meet Their Social & Emotional Needs (Amazon)

The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide: For Ages 10 & Under (Amazon)

Gifted Children Need a Place to Belong Gifted Children Need a Place to Belong

Gifted Students Often Struggle Socially

10 Facts You May Not Know about Gifted Children But Should

Friendship 101

How to Find Friends

Young, Gifted & Likely to Suffer for It

Gifted Children & Friendships – Why Don’t I Fit In?

How to Help your Gifted Kid Thrive

The Curse of the Gifted & Talented Child

Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students

Should We Tell Them They’re Gifted?

Is Your Child Anxious Because They’re Gifted?

Guess What? Gifted Kids Can Have Problems Too

10 Lessons from Gifted Education 

How to Help Your Overthinking Gifted Child

Sprite’s Site: Discovering the Depth and Breadth of Giftedness

Sprite’s Site: Belonging – A Place of Sanctuary

What to Say to Your Gifted Child…about Being Gifted

Gifted Children’s Bill of Rights

Common Characteristics of Gifted Individuals

Hoagies’ Blog Hop May 2014: The “G” Word “Gifted”

Photo courtesy of Pixabay  CC0 Creative Commons

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

Perfectionism A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough”

gtchat 07112017 Perfectionism

This week #gtchat welcomed back former #gtchat Advisor, Lisa Van Gemert, to chat about her new book, Perfectionism A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough”. Perfectionism is life experienced in endless attempts to do what can’t be done. Reality never measures up to perception. It is the culmination of too high expectations which ultimately affects one’s quality of life.

“I define perfectionism as the pursuit of excellence in the absence of self- love. It is also often defined as setting impossibly high standards and being unsatisfied with high  quality of work.” ~ Lisa Van Gemert 

Perfectionism is a coat of many colors – overachievement, aversion to risk, and procrastination. An interesting type of perfectionism is managing your self-image; what you want others to see.

There are benefits of viewing perfectionism as being on a continuum. When perfectionism is no longer one single ‘thing”, it’s not seen as something to be fixed. One must deal with it long-term. If you view perfectionism on a continuum, certain behaviors can produce achievable results such as good grades in school.

“The continuum model of anything is less rigid. It doesn’t say, “Fix this,” but rather, “Move slightly, please.” With a continuum, we can ease back to the middle, rather than saying it’s all or nothing. That idea is its own kind of perfectionism. Perfectionists will not typically become laissez-faire, Type B people, but they can move a little to the left on the Bell curve!” ~ Lisa Van Gemert 

Some comorbid conditions can complicate perfectionism. It can be extremely complicated for twice-exceptional kids who already challenge society’s norms. Perfectionism paired with Executive Functioning issues or ADHD are at a disadvantage from the get-go.

How do we balance ‘do your best’ and ‘nobody’s perfect’ for young gifted children? We need to be honest with kids … especially young gifted ones who really want to be perfect but lack understanding. Too often, parents ‘expect’ way too much from gifted children; unwittingly can cause a lot of emotional damage. Adults need to see the fallacy in thinking ‘perfection’ is attainable; do a reality check.

“Not everything is worth “do your best”! Not everything worth doing IS worth doing well. Parents and Teachers can balance this by helping kids identify what is worth doing well and exactly how well. I use a 1-5 scale for deciding how well something should be done. 1 is just do it. 5 is make it as great as possible.” ~ Lisa Van Gemert 

In the book, Lisa presents strategies and action steps which work best in dealing with perfectionism. The first actionable step must be to identify the fact that perfectionism may be affecting one’s life adversely. A strategy based on management rather than elimination of perfectionism will result in a more successful resolution. A transcript can be found at Storify.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at Noon NZST/10 AM AEST/1 AM UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

Head Shot 2014-07-14  About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered        by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Links:

Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough” (Great Potential Press)

The Perils of Perfectionism

Perfectionism: Presentation & Handout 

Perfection{ism}: The Occupational Hazard of Giftedness (SlideShare)

The Perfection Deception: Why Striving to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships (Amazon)

Perfectionism, Coping & Emotional Adjustment (pdf)

Perfectionism, Fear of Failure & Affective Responses to Success & Failure (pdf)

What to Do When Good Enough Isn’t Good Enough: Real Deal on Perfectionism: Guide for Kids (Amazon)

Perfectionism Dimensions in Children: Association with Anxiety & Depression

Perfectionism and Peer Relations Among Children with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (pdf)

Overcoming Perfectionism: Finding the Key to Balance & Self-Acceptance (Amazon)

Overcoming Perfectionism in Kids

AUS: Letting Go of Perfectionism

Sprite’s Site: White Poodle, Black Poodle

Cybraryman’s Perfection Links Page https://goo.gl/EbHh2u

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad. Photos courtesy of Lisa Van Gemert and Great Potential Press.

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