Perfectionism A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough”
This week #gtchat welcomed back former #gtchat Advisor, Lisa Van Gemert, to chat about her new book, Perfectionism A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough”. Perfectionism is life experienced in endless attempts to do what can’t be done. Reality never measures up to perception. It is the culmination of too high expectations which ultimately affects one’s quality of life.
“I define perfectionism as the pursuit of excellence in the absence of self- love. It is also often defined as setting impossibly high standards and being unsatisfied with high quality of work.” ~ Lisa Van Gemert
Perfectionism is a coat of many colors – overachievement, aversion to risk, and procrastination. An interesting type of perfectionism is managing your self-image; what you want others to see.
There are benefits of viewing perfectionism as being on a continuum. When perfectionism is no longer one single ‘thing”, it’s not seen as something to be fixed. One must deal with it long-term. If you view perfectionism on a continuum, certain behaviors can produce achievable results such as good grades in school.
“The continuum model of anything is less rigid. It doesn’t say, “Fix this,” but rather, “Move slightly, please.” With a continuum, we can ease back to the middle, rather than saying it’s all or nothing. That idea is its own kind of perfectionism. Perfectionists will not typically become laissez-faire, Type B people, but they can move a little to the left on the Bell curve!” ~ Lisa Van Gemert
Some comorbid conditions can complicate perfectionism. It can be extremely complicated for twice-exceptional kids who already challenge society’s norms. Perfectionism paired with Executive Functioning issues or ADHD are at a disadvantage from the get-go.
How do we balance ‘do your best’ and ‘nobody’s perfect’ for young gifted children? We need to be honest with kids … especially young gifted ones who really want to be perfect but lack understanding. Too often, parents ‘expect’ way too much from gifted children; unwittingly can cause a lot of emotional damage. Adults need to see the fallacy in thinking ‘perfection’ is attainable; do a reality check.
“Not everything is worth “do your best”! Not everything worth doing IS worth doing well. Parents and Teachers can balance this by helping kids identify what is worth doing well and exactly how well. I use a 1-5 scale for deciding how well something should be done. 1 is just do it. 5 is make it as great as possible.” ~ Lisa Van Gemert
In the book, Lisa presents strategies and action steps which work best in dealing with perfectionism. The first actionable step must be to identify the fact that perfectionism may be affecting one’s life adversely. A strategy based on management rather than elimination of perfectionism will result in a more successful resolution. A transcript can be found at Storify.
Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at Noon NZST/10 AM AEST/1 AM UK to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.
About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com
Links:
Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough” (Great Potential Press)
Perfectionism: Presentation & Handout
Perfection{ism}: The Occupational Hazard of Giftedness (SlideShare)
The Perfection Deception: Why Striving to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships (Amazon)
Perfectionism, Coping & Emotional Adjustment (pdf)
Perfectionism, Fear of Failure & Affective Responses to Success & Failure (pdf)
What to Do When Good Enough Isn’t Good Enough: Real Deal on Perfectionism: Guide for Kids (Amazon)
Perfectionism Dimensions in Children: Association with Anxiety & Depression
Perfectionism and Peer Relations Among Children with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (pdf)
Overcoming Perfectionism: Finding the Key to Balance & Self-Acceptance (Amazon)
Overcoming Perfectionism in Kids
AUS: Letting Go of Perfectionism
Sprite’s Site: White Poodle, Black Poodle
Cybraryman’s Perfection Links Page https://goo.gl/EbHh2u
Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad. Photos courtesy of Lisa Van Gemert and Great Potential Press.
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Homeschooling Gifted Students
This week, we welcomed Corin Goodwin, the Executive Director of GHF – Gifted Homeschoolers Forum as our guest to chat about homeschooling gifted students.
For years, homeschooling was considered on the fringe; those who had issues with public schools regarding religion. Gifted homeschooling is based on providing the best personal education possible to meet the unique challenges of gifted students.
Homeschooling is a very personal and individual decision and today’s homeschoolers are a diverse and emergent group. Reasons for homeschooling can include a need for greater challenge than available at traditional schools. Homeschooling allows gifted students to advance through the curriculum at a pace that meets individual needs.
What should parents consider before starting to homeschool? Parents need to make a realistic assessment of the financial resources they’ll need to effectively homeschool. They need to research homeschooling and the time commitment necessary to make it work for their child and the family.
One of the biggest myths that opponents of homeschooling bring up is lack of social opportunities which simply isn’t true. Gifted homeschooled students have many avenues to socialize with intellectual peers both in real life and online.
What are the prospects for homeschoolers when applying for college or transitioning to adult life? Universities once reluctant about homeschoolers now seek out these kids; acknowledge the benefits of homeschooling. Many resources are available to document student records and accomplishments for college admissions. Good planning can make the college admissions process easier and more successful for gifted homeschoolers. A transcript of this chat may be found at Storify.
Afterthought: This chat prompted quite a few responses (from both those who attended the chat and those who did not) directed at the moderator concerning the feasibility of homeschooling. While most agreed that it would be beneficial for any gifted child to be taught at home one-on-one in a loving and supportive environment, just wanting to make it happen was not always enough to ensure a successful outcome for everyone.
One teacher related experiences of seeing parents losing their jobs because they didn’t have the energy to work and be solely responsible for their child’s education; having their child become disengaged because they didn’t have the time or skills to teach them; and even failed marriages.
Yes, some families will be fortunate to succeed without presupposing all possible outcomes, but it is a personal decision families need to make without outside judgement. Many parents said that although they were happy they decided to homeschool, they felt they would never recover financially. Concerns for other family members and personal feelings of self-worth were also expressed. Others cited the emotional toll it placed on the parent-child relationship.
These are all very real concerns. Parents who simply can’t make it work should not have to endure criticism. Just as every child is different, so is their family’s situation. It is important to make a realistic assessment of your own situation before embarking on homeschooling. In the end, you must decide what you feel is best for you, your child and your family.
Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at Noon NZST/10 AM AEST/1 AM UK to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.
About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com
Links:
Homeschooling Curriculum for the Gifted Child
Reasons to Homeschool Your Gifted Child
Creative Home Schooling: A Resource Guide for Smart Families (Amazon)
Making the Choice: When Typical School Doesn’t Fit Your Atypical Child (Amazon)
How to Work & Homeschool: Practical Advice, Tips & Strategies from Parents (Amazon)
Educating Your Gifted Child: How One Public School Teacher Embraced Homeschooling (Amazon)
Home Schooling Gifted Children
Gifted Children: Transitioning Between Public School and Homeschool
Gifted Children: The Importance of Finding Intellectual Peers and Community
Homeschooling: Where and How to Begin
Study: States Should Provide Parents with More Information about Homeschooling Options
US Public Education Policy: Missing Voices
US Public Education Policy: Missing Voices Executive Summary and Survey Date
Sprite’s Site Nest Ed: Flocks and Shoes
Gifted Online NZ Centre for Gifted Education
NZ: Te Aho O Te Kura Pounama – The Correspondence School
GHF: Living with Gifted Children
SIG Summer Institute for the Gifted
Self-Directed Learning: Documentation and Life Stories
AUS: Homeschooling Research Notes – Glenda Jackson
Photo courtesy of Gifted Homeschoolers Forum.
Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.
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Acceleration for Gifted Students
Many people mistakenly think of acceleration as only skipping a grade; but it’s so much more. Acceleration can take place at all levels of education from early primary to college. Parents can check to see if their child’s school allows for early admission to kindergarten/1st grade/high school or college. Other types of acceleration include mastery-based learning, independent study, and single-subject acceleration. Classroom modifications can include curriculum compacting, curriculum telescoping, and multi-age classrooms. Honors classes, AP, IB and dual-enrollment are also considered types of acceleration.
There are some considerations to take into account when deciding on acceleration. Parents should evaluate school policy to determine if there’s sufficient support for acceleration K-12. All stakeholders should determine the ‘end-game’ before accelerating a student and what benefits will accrue for the student. Consideration must be given to whether or not the child wants to be accelerated; without ‘buy-in’, it will fail. Risks of not accelerating an academically advanced student are increased dropout rates, underachievement, and disengagement.
So, why are so many school administrators and teachers resistant to acceleration? Ignorance of the benefits of acceleration for academically gifted students is the primary reason. A simple solution is to educate them! Most of them receive little to no professional development concerning the many potential types of acceleration available. Few have experience with acceleration or have access to current research concerning its benefits. Finally, personal prejudice against advanced students can cloud judgement when considering acceleration.
Here are some tips to make an accelerated transition go more smoothly. Parents should provide strong evidence that their child is ready for acceleration – testing, grades, student desire. Prepare everyone on what to expect – the student, parents, classmates and teachers; informed transitions are more successful! Early admission and acceleration in the primary years can mitigate age differences and increase time spent with intellectual peers.
What options exist if acceleration does not work out? This is a rare occurrence and one which is better avoided by good preparation rather than correcting later. Consideration should be given to fixing what isn’t working rather than exiting the program. If the student decides to suspend acceleration, it’s easier done at the secondary level where multi-grade classes are generally more available.
Parents are usually the initial advocates for acceleration. Many school administrators feign opposition to acceleration out of ‘concern’ for student. Be sure to point out the financial benefits to the school district. Advocating for any school policy begins at the state level; know your state’s laws concerning acceleration. Parents should find or start a Parent Advocacy Group; strength in numbers!
It is important to keep in mind why you are considering acceleration and reasons it will benefit a particular student. No plan will work if the child is not a willing participant. Acceleration is a cost effective means to providing an excellent educational opportunity for an academically gifted students. A transcript of this chat may be found at Storify.
Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at Noon NZST/10 AM AEST/1 AM UK to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.
About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com
Links:
Iowa Acceleration Scale 3rd Edition, Complete Kit
Guidelines for Developing an Academic Acceleration Policy
Slay the Stay-Put Beast: Thoughts on Acceleration
Why Am I an Advocate for Academic Acceleration?
What Is Curriculum Compacting?
Why is Academic Acceleration (Still) So Controversial?
Academic Acceleration (YouTube 5:35)
What is so threatening about academic acceleration?
Should My Gifted Child Skip a Grade?
A Time to Accelerate, A Time to Brake
Good Things about Grade Acceleration
Successfully Advocating for Your Child’s Grade Skip
Acceleration Options in the FBISD: Preparing the Gifted Child for Their Future (pdf)
Keller ISD Advanced Academics – Parent Resource Portal
Cybraryman’s Gifted and Talented Advocacy Page
#gtchat Blog: How to Advocate for Acceleration at Your School
Types of Acceleration and their Effectiveness
UT Austin High School: Early Graduation
Sprite’s Site: Columbus Cheetah, Myth Buster – Myth 6
Texas Statutory Authority on Acceleration
Photo courtesy of Hein Waschefort (Own work) via Wikimedia Commons CC BY-SA 3.0
Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad
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Residential Public High Schools for Gifted Students
There are many reasons a student might choose a residential public high school. These schools can provide students with a challenging curriculum at little to no cost to the student’s family. They provide students with extraordinary opportunities to be with intellectual peers and are noted for producing many of the nation’s top scholars.
Residential public high schools can be a good option for gifted students. Each student and their situation should be considered individually; factors such as maturity and personal passions are important. Gifted students can thrive at residential public high schools and gain experience with expectations of higher education. Additionally, these programs are often paired with a university and students have the opportunity to gain college credits.
Not all residential public high schools are created equal. Although many are free, families need to learn about if there are tuition expenses or fees. Families considering this option should expect incidental expenses such as travel costs or special program fees. Students should consider what residential high schools offer in terms of coursework and if diploma or degree granting.
Most residential public high schools have high standards equivalent to college entrance requirements. Admission is based on test scores; grades; extracurricular activities and teacher recommendations.
There are some downsides to residential programs. Some students may not be prepared to live away from home and family; they must want to participate in the program. Most schools have residency requirements; generally requiring students live in the state where the school is located. Residential high schools generally have rigorous coursework; they require dedication. A transcript of this chat can be found on our Storify page.
Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at Noon NZST/10 AM AEST/1 AM UK to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.
About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com
Links:
Finish High School with Bachelor’s Degree? At one Florida School, Yes
Statewide Public High Schools for Advanced Students
Residential Academies for Gifted Adolescents
National Consortium of Secondary STEM Schools
Educational Options: Alternative
AUS: Academy Would Enable Gifted Country Kids to Study at Selective State Schools
Years of College in High School for Free
The Gatton Academy of Mathematics and Science Profile (pdf)
Colleges for Exceptionally Gifted Students
National Consortium of Early College Entrance Programs
Residential Public High Schools
Alabama School of Mathematics and Science
The Alabama School of Mathematics and Science is a public residential high school in the Midtown neighborhood of Mobile, Alabama. ASMS is a member of the National Consortium for Specialized Secondary Schools of Mathematics, Science and Technology.
The Alabama School of Fine Arts is a public, partially residential high school located in downtown Birmingham, Alabama, United States.
Arkansas School for Mathematics, Sciences, and the Arts
The Arkansas School for Mathematics, Sciences, and the Arts is a two-year, public residential high school located in Hot Springs, Arkansas. It is a part of the University of Arkansas administrative system and a member of the NCSSSMST.
Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy
The Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy, or IMSA, is a three-year residential public high school in Aurora, Illinois, United States, with an enrollment of approximately 650 students.
Indiana Academy for Science, Mathematics, and Humanities
The Indiana Academy for Science, Mathematics, and Humanities is a residential school located on the campus of Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana, although it operates independently of the university.
Kansas Academy of Mathematics and Science
The Kansas Academy of Mathematics and Science (KAMS) is the state’s premier academic high school program for the state’s best and brightest high school students. KAMS is a unique residential learning experience that provides exceptional high school juniors and seniors a potent blend of: college-level instruction by Ph.D. faculty; a high school diploma and 68 hours of college credit; and hands-on research supervised by Ph.D. scientists.
Carol Martin Gatton Academy of Mathematics and Science in Kentucky
The Gatton Academy is a public academy and an early college entrance program funded by the state of Kentucky and located on the campus of Western Kentucky University.
Louisiana School for Math, Science, and the Arts
The Louisiana School for Math, Science, and the Arts is located in Natchitoches, Louisiana on the campus of Northwestern State University. Ranked the best public high school in Louisiana LSMSA’s residential program offers top-ranked faculty and superior academics for the state’s best students.
Maine School of Science and Mathematics
The Maine School of Science and Mathematics is a residential magnet high school in Limestone, Maine. MSSM serves students from all over the state of Maine, as well as youth from other states and international students.
Massachusetts Academy of Math and Science
Mass Academy is a public, co-educational school of excellence that enrolls about 100 academically accelerated 11th and 12th graders. Seniors complete a full year of college, enrolling in classes at WPI, a nationally ranked engineering school, thus making the Academy the only public school in Massachusetts whose students attend a private university full-time as seniors in high school.
Mississippi School for Mathematics and Science
The Mississippi School for Mathematics and Science is Mississippi’s only public residential high school for academically gifted students and is located in Columbus, Mississippi on the campus of the Mississippi University for Women.
Mississippi School of the Arts
The Mississippi School of the Arts is an upper high school of literary, visual, and performing arts on the historic Whitworth College Campus in Brookhaven, Mississippi, about sixty miles south of Jackson, Mississippi.
North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics
North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics is a two-year, public residential high school located in Durham, North Carolina, US, that focuses on the intensive study of science, mathematics and technology.
University of North Carolina School of the Arts
The University of North Carolina School of the Arts is a public coeducational arts conservatory in Winston-Salem, North Carolina that grants high school, undergraduate and graduate degrees.
Oklahoma School of Science and Mathematics
The Oklahoma School of Science and Mathematics is a two-year, public residential high school located in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
South Carolina Governor’s School for Science and Mathematics
The South Carolina Governor’s School for Science and Mathematics is a public, boarding high school for students in grades 11 and 12, located in Hartsville, South Carolina.
Texas Academy of Leadership in the Humanities
The Texas Academy of Leadership in the Humanities is a residential honors program for gifted and talented Texas high school-aged students who seek to develop their full potential as citizens and who show special interest and aptitude for study in the Humanities.
Texas Academy of Mathematics and Science
The Texas Academy of Mathematics and Science is a two-year residential early entrance college program serving approximately 375 high school juniors and seniors at the University of North Texas.
Photo of Gatton Academy used with permission. Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.
