Category Archives: parenting

Transitioning to Adulthood ~ A Bumpy Ride for Gifted Kids

Every child is an individual and every child has needs. It’s no different for children identified as gifted or twice-exceptional.  But … how do we identify social-emotional needs of gifted children without pathologizing them?  Many GT kids are well-adjusted with minimal need for intervention, but others do have specific needs. Although clearly a point of contention among professionals, identifying the social-emotional needs of gifted children does not need to rise to the level of believing they are psychologically abnormal or unhealthy.

Those characteristics of giftedness that influence a child’s life do not suddenly disappear as they become adults; they grow right along with them. Childhood anxiety, asynchronous development, perfectionism, and more can manifest in adulthood. Gifted adults may have difficulty maintaining peer relationships due to a high level of internal drive (Webb), continued maturation differences well into their 20s, and existential depression.

Educators can guide gifted students as they endeavor to confront their ‘multipotentiality’ (Kerr) and bring focus into their lives regarding the direction they take in their academic careers. They can be extremely influential in the life of a gifted student by simply recognizing the nature of their needs and seeking professional development in how to meet those needs.

From the earliest years, gifted students recognize that they do not share the same concerns or abilities of their age-peers and the internal conflicts created because of this can affect their eventual transitioning into adulthood. Asynchronous development can be both positive and negative. Social-emotional needs and peer relations are most affected. Its effects are more pronounced in younger children and tend to lessen as they enter adulthood.

What challenges do twice-exceptional students face in transitioning to adulthood? Societal appreciation of what the ‘spectrum’ looks like is evolving. It is recognized as a ‘range’ of individual traits and abilities. There is growing acceptance that ability is not ‘all or nothing’; challenges exist and are variable.  The biggest challenge for twice-exceptional students is recognition that they exist and the second is the willingness of adults in their lives to learn about what it means and how to best help these kids to experience fulfillment in life.

Parents can help ease their gifted child’s transition into adulthood. The best strategies start with the premise that parents are trying to do their best and most sources of advice don’t generally apply to their child. Parents today benefit from the existence of organizations such as SENG, IEA, NAGC and the Texas Association for the  Gifted and Talented who provide parents with strategies for meeting the needs of their gifted children. A transcript of this chat may be found at Wakelet.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Thursdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Fridays at Noon NZST/10 AM AEST/1 AM UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Wakelet. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news and information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

 Lisa Conrad About the authorLisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Resources:

Mexico’s Youngest Psychologist, Aspiring to Ease Gifted Students’ Transition to Adulthood

Young, Gifted and Likely to Suffer for It

Gifted Lives: What Happens When Gifted Children Grow Up (book)

How Being a Gifted Kid Affects You as an Adult

Gifted Children: What Happens When They Grow Up?

Gifted Lives: What Happens When Gifted Children Grow Up? (Part Two)

Asynchronous Transitioning to Adulthood

To Be a Gifted Adolescent (pdf)

Assertive or Arrogant? Why Gifted Teens Sometimes Get a Bad Rap

Transitioning from College to Work and Young Adulthood for the Twice-Exceptional Individual

Multipotentiality: Issues and Considerations for Career Planning

Mind Matters Podcast: Transitioning to Adulthood

The Gifted Kids Workbook (book)

Gifted Grownups: Young MC

Discovering the Gifted Ex-Child (Tolan)

Understanding the Gifted Self: If Only I Had Known

Gifted Children and Adults — Why Are They So Misunderstood?

Looking for an Adventure? Try Parenting a Gifted Kid

If Gifted = Asynchronous Development, then Gifted/Special Needs = Asynchrony Squared

Image courtesy of Pixabay Pixabay License 

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad

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Personal Goal Setting and Self-Regulation for Gifted Children

 

The first and most important step in setting goals is to identify the goals. Strategies to help gifted students should consider timing, time management, pacing and ways to accomplish their goals. Students can identify personal strengths and weaknesses; begin record keeping of progress or portfolios; and take charge of their own learning goals as they mature.

GT students need to learn the art of forethought – thinking ahead with purpose. They should consider a well thought out plan, a starting point and realistic expectations. Once the process begins, GT students can develop specific strategies to monitor personal progress and be aware of any issues preventing them from accomplishing their goals. They need a basic understanding of what ‘self-reflection’ means and its role in evaluating success or failure.

Good self-regulation involves progress monitoring by keeping good records, looking at one’s own performance, and considering if things could have been done better. GT students who master self-regulation skills are known to have specific learning goals and strategies to achieve them, self-monitor more often, and are good at adapting strategies when necessary.

Self-regulating of motivation, its control, and the changing of attitude about it can impact student achievement.  Students who gain self-regulation of emotions can improve their learning. Controlling cognitive strategies through self-regulation can improve learning and performance.

Effective instructional practices when teaching self-regulation include helping students see new information in a positive light, promote ‘thinking aloud’, and ‘self-talk’. Additional effective self-regulation instructional strategies include helping students identify relevant information and materials, and utilize prior learning to inform experiential learning.

Parents can model persistence in the face of challenge and good learning strategies. They can talk to their children about potential distractions, the best possible environment to accomplish goals, and time management. Parents are their child’s biggest supporter – they can be there when it is time to assess how they did in meeting their goals and what could have been done differently if necessary. A transcript of this chat may be found at Wakelet.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Thursdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Fridays at 2PM NZST/Noon AEST/1 AM UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Wakelet. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news and information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

 Lisa Conrad About the authorLisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Resources:

SMART Goals for Gifted Students

Self-Regulated Learning and Academically Talented Students

Promoting a Positive Achievement Attitude with Gifted and Talented Students

Using Self-Regulated Learning to Reverse Underachievement in Talented Students

Can Personal Goal Setting Tap the Potential of the Gifted Underachiever?

A Comparison of Gifted and Non-Gifted Students` Self-regulation Skills for Science Learning

Social-Emotional Learning and the Gifted Child

The Role of Self-regulated Learning in Enhancing Learning Performance (pdf)

Assessing Self-Regulation as a Cyclical, Context-Specific Phenomenon: Overview and Analysis of SRL Microanalytic Protocols

On the Social and Emotional Lives of Gifted Children

The Influence of Instrumentality Beliefs on Achievement Motivation: A Study of High Achieving Adolescents (pdf)

Emotional Experience during Participation in a Program of Self-Regulated Learning

Self-Regulation in the Classroom Helping Students Learn How to Learn (book)

The Relation of Self-Efficacy and Grade Goals to Academic Performance

Motivation and Self-Regulated Learning: Theory, Research, and Applications (book)

Cybraryman’s Goals Page

Cybraryman’s Resolutions and Reflection Page

Calming the Emotional Storm: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions and Balance Your Life (Amazon)

The Inner Game for Twice-Exceptional Kids (Class)

Image courtesy of Pixabay Pixabay License

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

 

Best Tips for Parents of a GT Child

 

Parenting and specifically parenting gifted children has changed dramatically over the past several decades due to the resources and camaraderie afforded by social media. Online groups provide a sense of community for parents of gifted kids who were once separated both geographically as well as socially. Today parents don’t have to make the journey alone. In recent years, parents have also benefited by learning about ways to get together in real life at conferences and regional meetups that were once unknown. Parents can also access much needed information and advice on their own schedule. The convenience of online resources available 24/7 cannot be overlooked.

Parenting is often based on one’s own life experiences, but the challenges of life in today’s world can be very different than they were a generation ago. Parents should seek out current advice whenever possible. The role of asynchronous development can’t be minimized when dealing with life’s big transitions. It differentiates the experiences most gifted children face when transitioning to new educational experiences and meeting life’s milestones. Parents should build a strong emotional bond with their gifted children early in life and consider themselves as partners in the transition process. Each child is an individual with unique attributes and challenges which play a role in that process.

What steps can parents take if they suspect their child is twice-exceptional? A twice-exceptional child will exhibit both abilities and disabilities; strengths and weaknesses at the same time. It is easy for even professionals to misdiagnose these kids. Parents should seek help from those familiar with giftedness. Understanding the needs of twice-exceptional children is a necessary step toward being successful in life. Parents are the first and best advocates. Knowledge about twice-exceptionalism is a powerful tool. Twice-exceptionality is a challenge, but not a roadblock. Once accommodated, 2e kids can lead productive and successful lives. Being proactive in diagnosis and seeking help is the first step.

When should parents seek professional help regarding their gifted child? When that behavior impacts their lives in any significant way, parents should at the least consider a professional diagnosis. When children enter the school system, parents are often guided to seek professional help regarding concerns they might not see in a home setting.  If parents see sudden changes in behavior, a decline in school work, or issues with interpersonal relationships between their child and others; they should seek professional intervention.

What should a parent who is experiencing difficulty getting educational services for their gifted child do? Although it shouldn’t be the case, parents often find themselves on the opposite side of educational priorities from their child’s school personnel. It’s important to document everything in writing. Know that the school will be doing the same. It may not seem fair, but parents need to keep their cool when advocating on behalf of their child. Patience can be beneficial in getting the best educational placement as well as serving as a role model for their child. There are many factors – positive and negative – weighed by a school district in providing services to an identified gifted child. Parents need to be aware of the school’s philosophy on GT education and the availability of resources.

Being the parent of a gifted child has its ups and downs, but things really do eventually work out. The ‘little lawyer’ in elementary school turned defiant teen in high school will one day be your best friend. Networking with other parents of gifted children is a great way to save your sanity, know that you aren’t alone, and provide for ‘strength in numbers’ when working with schools to provide the highest quality of education for your child.

A transcript of this chat may be found at Wakelet.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Thursdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Fridays at 2PM NZST/Noon AEST/1 AM UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Wakelet. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news and information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

 Lisa Conrad About the authorLisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Resources:

My Son Is A ‘Gifted Child’ Here’s Why Raising Him Has Been Anything But Easy

For Gifted Kids, Better to be Hands-on or -off?

Understanding Your Gifted Child From the Inside Out: A Guide to the Social and Emotional Lives of Gifted Kids (Delisle)

The Social-Emotional Well-Being of the Gifted Child and Perceptions of Parent and Teacher Social Support (pdf)

Twice-Exceptional College Students Identified as Gifted and Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder: A Comparative Case Study (pdf)

A Middle School Survival Guide for The Parents of Gifted Children

Gifted Resource Center

Wonderschooling: Living in a World of Input Overload

Grayson School Blog: The Intrinsic Intensity of the Gifted Child

Hoagie’s Gifted Education Page: Parents of Gifted Children

Tips for Handling Gifted Children: For Parents and Teachers

Why Being Gifted Isn’t Always a Gift

When Gifted Kids Move: Tips for Parents and Districts

What Most Parents of Gifted Children Wish They had Known about College Planning

Choices Exclude: The Existential Burden of Multipotentiality

TAGT Resources for Parents

NAGC Resources for Parents

SENG

When Your Gifted Child Disappoints

Twice Exceptional: Gifted Students with Learning Disabilities Considerations Packet

Parent–Teacher Conflict Related to Student Abilities: The Impact on Students and the Family–School Partnership (pdf)

Gifted Development Center

Cybraryman’s Gifted Parenting Page

Cybraryman’s Twice Exceptional Children Page

Cybraryman’s SEL Page

Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth

Parents of Gifted and Twice-Exceptional Kids Facebook Group

If This is a Gift, Can I Send it Back?: Surviving in the Land of the Gifted and Twice Exceptional (book)

Crushing Tall Poppies (blog)

Image courtesy of Unsplash

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad

Disciplining Smart Kids

 

43 participants and attendees from 22 states, D.C., and 5 countries joined us this week at Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT on Twitter to discuss disciplining smart kids!

So often, discipline is confused with punishment which should not be the intent. Discipline should serve as a teachable moment. Gifted children know when others are trying to control them. They will better appreciate attempts to show them alternative ways to behave.

Gifted children can be a challenge to discipline. They are astute observers of others’ behavior and are ready to apply that knowledge to their own situation. In most cases, gifted children are fully aware of how they should behave; but still are kids. Their knowledge base alone necessitates that their parent/teacher ‘be prepared’ to answer questions.

Asynchronous development – many ages at once – has a pronounced effect on behavior for gifted children. Maturity and intellect are often out of synch. Their ‘want to dos’ far exceed doing what is expected of them for their age. It is not something the gifted child may have control over and may not even recognize when they are younger; especially if they haven’t been identified yet. Asynchronous behavior can be a sign of giftedness; even before identification as gifted.

How can discipline issues in the classroom be prevented? Communication – honest and explicit statement of what is considered appropriate classroom behavior can go a long way in preventing discipline issues. Recognition and understanding of gifted characteristics can also head off inappropriate behavior in the classroom. Build a teacher-student relationship where the teacher can serve as mentor and role-model for their students.

Parents can reduce negative behaviors at home by providing a loving and caring atmosphere that values children as members of the family. They should build a relationship with their child built on honesty, respect for their opinions, and on quality time spent together. Parents can keep the lines of communication open and positive with school personnel and share concerns before an issue arises.

What are some strategies involved in using positive discipline? Strategies for positive discipline should include expressing clear expectations, involving their child in developing expectations, and taking the child’s feelings and abilities into consideration. Positive discipline should be about teaching behavioral skills, adults serving as role models, and remembering to express positive reinforcement whenever possible. The transcript may be read at Wakelet.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Thursdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Fridays at 2PM NZST/Noon AEST/1 AM UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Wakelet. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news and information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

Head Shot 2014-07-14  About the authorLisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Resources:

Discipline and the Gifted Child

Four Ways to Reduce Behavior Problems

Disciplining Gifted Children

How to Discipline your Gifted Child

Tips for Parents: Positive Discipline for Gifted Children

How to Not Argue with Your Gifted Child​​

Our Take on Positive Discipline: From Stickers and Star Charts to Dean’s List

Want to Have Your Heart Broken? Take a Close Look at an Angry Gifted Kid

Gentle Gifted Parenting Defusing Tantrums and Meltdowns with Love

Fostering Self-Discipline

Description of Parents Knowledge of the Nature and Needs of Gifted Children and Their Parenting Styles (pdf)

Managing Life with a Challenging Child: What to Do when Your Gifted but Difficult Child is Driving You Crazy

Today’s Disruptors Can be Tomorrow’s Innovators

Photo courtesy of Pixabay CC0 Creative Commons

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

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