The Strong-Willed Gifted Child

Strong-willed gifted children can appear oppositional and fail to respond to traditional behavior interventions. They are characterized as uncooperative, stubborn, defiant, rebellious and arrogant. They can also be thought of as passionate, idealistic, and emotionally intense. Due to asynchronous development, gifted children may have a deep understanding of a problem but lack ability to deal with it.

A gifted child’s behavior is often misunderstood and misdiagnosed by professionals. Many characteristics of giftedness may appear similar to mental health and few professionals have training in gifted issues. Misdiagnosis can lead to inappropriate and ineffectual treatments which make matters worse.

Traditional behavior strategies don’t work because the underlying causes for the behavior are atypical for their age. A gifted child’s refusal to comply is often the result of deeply held yet inconsistent beliefs and feelings of injustice.

What info could be shared with teachers to help them understand this behavior as it relates to giftedness? Few teachers have a background in gifted education; basic information is a good place to start. Teachers need to know that gifted students don’t always know what they are good at; guidance may be needed to direct students to a place of understanding.

Scaffolding, a technique used in teaching, can be applied to helping gifted children deal with their emotions. It is a way to provide positive, but temporary support to a child during an emotional impasse; and can foster emotional growth as it leads to a positive, non-argumentative resolution of behavior issues. Scaffolding with gifted children promotes self-esteem and self-efficacy with long-term impact on reducing negative behavior. (Malonai 2016)

What positive steps can parents & teachers take to help strong-willed gifted children thrive? Parents can help their child discover who they are, their strengths by providing opportunities for recognizing personal strengths. Teachers can encourage students to follow their passions through school activities that challenge and validate them. Both parents & teachers need to provide positive supports before issues arise; celebrate good behavior when demonstrated. A transcript of this chat can be found at Storify.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at Noon (12.00) NZST/10.00 AEST/1.00 UK to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Links:

7 Ways to Help Your Strong-Willed Gifted Child Thrive

5 Discipline Tips for When Time-Outs Don’t Work

Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children

Gifted Children: Mood Issues with Gifted Child

Helping Gifted Children Soar: A Practical Guide for Parents and Teachers (Amazon)

Living With Intensity: Understanding Sensitivity, Excitability, Emotional Development of Gifted Children (Amazon)

The Strong Willed Child, Limit Testing & Why Giftedness Matters

Are Strong-Willed Children Gifted?

Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students: Helping Kids Cope with Explosive Feelings (Amazon)

Parenting Gifted Kids: Tips for Raising Happy & Successful Gifted Children (Amazon)

Emotional Regulation and the Gifted Child

Laughing at Chaos: Real Life Scaffolding

Sprite’s Site: Columbus Cheetah, Myth Buster

Photo courtesy morgueFile CC BY 2.0 Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

Stigma of Giftedness

A social stigma is a discrediting stereotype placed on individuals with attributes that deviates from norm; exactly what often happens to children identified as gifted. They figure out quite quickly that they will be treated differently by adults; sometimes with unfair expectations.

Gifted children may manipulate information about themselves to ensure they still have normal social relationships (Cross/Coleman 1993). The stigma can extend to parents of gifted children cutting them off from support offered other parents because their children are ‘different’.

Gifted students are known to employ strategies to avoid the stigma associated with giftedness. Invisible strategies include ‘not’ saying a test is easy; ‘not’ volunteering answers; asking questions when answer is known; or not telling their age when they’ve been accelerated. More visible strategies include being the class clown, obnoxious behavior, or dressing outside current styles. Disidentifying strategies include feigned interest in small talk; acting silly; asking absurd questions (Coffey). Past studies have shown gifted students becoming highly involved in extracurricular activities to ‘fit in’. (Coleman 1985)

There are potentially negative outcomes of avoidance behavior related to the stigma of giftedness. When kids feel different and don’t know why, it can lead to feelings of abnormality. A gifted child may hide their giftedness to ‘fit in’ socially with age-peers and this can lead to underachievement. Parents are affected, too. They tend to shy away from sharing about their child’s accomplishments.

What can parents do to help their child cope with the stigma associated with giftedness? Parents can explain what giftedness is and its characteristics so their child isn’t confused about feeling different. They should provide opportunities for children to associate with intellectual peers in an appropriate environment. Parents may also need to seek counseling or therapy if they believe their child’s well-being is adversely affected. A transcript of this chat may be found at Storify.

Links:

The Stigma of a Gifted Child

Support for Parents of Gifted &Talented Children in Western Melbourne (Thesis p. 77 – pdf)

Coping with the Stigma of Giftedness (pdf)

The Social & Emotional Lives of Gifted Kids (pdf)

Possible Stigma of the Gifted Label

Is Being Gifted a Social Handicap?

25 Years of Research on the Lived Experience of Being Gifted in School

Giftedness & Genetics: The Emergenic Epigenetic Model & Its Implications (pdf)

Talent Development in Economically Disadvantaged Populations (pdf)

The Unique Inner Lives of Gifted Children (pdf)

The Social Cognition of Gifted Adolescents in School: Managing the Stigma of Giftedness

The Bipolar Spectrum and The Artistic Temperament: The Effects of Treatment on Exceptional Artistic Talent (pdf)

Laughing at Chaos: I DON’T Brag about My Gifted Kid

Sprite’s Site: GT Chat: Labels: Good, Bad, or Simply Wrong

Academically Gifted Students’ Perceived Interpersonal Competence and Peer Relationships (pdf)

Gifted Kids Shape their Personalities as per Social Stigma

The Talent of Being Inconvenient: On the Societal Functions of Giftedness (pdf)

A Gifted Child is Not a Perfect Child – So Why is There Still a Stigma?

Possible Stigma of the Gifted Label

Pathologizing and Stigmatizing: The Misdiagnosis of Gifted People

Special thanks to Leslie Graves, President of the World Council for Gifted and Talented Children, for her extensive list of additional links for this week’s #gtchat.

Photo courtesy of morgueFile. Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

“Perfectionism” with Guest, Lisa Van Gemert

Our guest this week was one of our own #gtchat advisors, Lisa Van Gemert, chatting with us about perfectionism. Lisa Van Gemert is well-known in the gifted community for her keynote addresses, presentations and as a consultant to American Mensa. You can read more about Lisa at her website.

According to Lisa, “Perfectionism is a setting of unreasonably high expectations combined with a lack of self-love and includes an unhealthy concern for others’ opinions of one’s work. Perfectionists also typically overgeneralize failure, seeing it as a sign of catastrophic, systemic personal failure. They are often hyper-aware of how things could be & think that means that is how they must be.”

“Perfectionism is a setting of unreasonably high expectations combined with a lack of self-love and includes an unhealthy concern for others’ opinions of one’s work.” ~ Lisa Van Gemert

We learned there are different types of perfectionist gifted kids. They include those who avoid taking risks, those who continually try to perfect their work, or the overachiever. Lisa told us that kids aren’t always perfectionistic across the board and thus may appear meticulous at home but chaotic at school.

“Perfectionism is multidimensional. Recent research (Stoeber 2015) established self-prescribed, socially-prescribed & other-oriented.” ~ Dr. Cait Fuentes King

The relationship between perfectionism and underachievement is a complex one. “Perfectionists can underachieve when they fail to turn in work because it’s not at the level they wanted. Perfectionism can lead to hopelessness which is a straight ticket to underachievement. It is another word for misalignment and perfectionism is misalignment of goals with reality/desirability,” Lisa said.

The consequences of perfectionism are many. Lisa listed them as, “stress, decreased social acceptance, workaholicism, and a neglect of other interests. Also, fear, underachievement, anxiety, limited social interaction, limited risk taking, rigidity, eating disorders, self-harm, and unhealthy dependence on external evaluation/acceptance.” Perfectionism can bring ‘living a full life’ to a halt; narrowing one’s focus to ‘not seeing forest for the trees’.

What strategies can be used to deal with perfectionism? Parents can serve as role models for their children; don’t insist on everything being absolutely perfect. Teachers can also consider task requirements and make modifications when necessary. Lisa suggested, “Let the child set his/her own goals, learn appropriate goal disengagement, and teach good self-talk. Avoiding authoritarian parenting is key. Make sure you let your kids see your own failures, mistakes and risks. Avoid only rewarding high grades. Sometimes we act like the lowest grade is in a different color ink. Celebrate risk taking and build risk-taking experiences into the family where it is safe.”

A transcript of this chat may be found at Storify.

Links:

Examining the Construct of Perfectionism: A Factor-Analytic Study (cgi)

Helpful Tips for Parents of Perfectionistic Gifted Learners

Voices of Perfectionism: Perfectionistic Gifted Adolescents in a Rural Middle School

Letting Go of Perfect: Overcoming Perfectionism in Kids (Amazon)

Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control (Amazon)

What to Do When Good Enough Isn’t Good Enough: Real Deal on Perfectionism: Guide for Kids (Amazon)

Freeing Our Families from Perfectionism (Amazon)

You’ve Gotta Know When to Fold ‘Em: Goal Disengagement/Systemic Inflammation in Adolescence (Abstract)

Perfectionism: The Presentation

The Perils of Perfectionism

Lisa Van Gemert’s Website: Gifted Guru

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

Inspiring Gifted Kids through Emerging Technologies

The emergence of new technologies has historically been a source of inspiration for generations of high-ability and gifted students. Today, however, it’s important to realize that development of these technologies is on an exponential trajectory; years, not decades. The need for highly qualified candidates in STEM fields can often make for an excellent career choice for students interested in areas such as AI, cyber security, biotech, big data, space exploration, and synthetic engineering or even cutting-edge technologies like quantum computing, digital telepathy, and algorithmic personality detection. The opportunities are mind-boggling.

Classroom technologies on the horizon will also help to inspire gifted kids. Augmented reality, virtual field trips, 3D printing, cloud computing, digital libraries; all are poised to disrupt how they learn. Traditional education is set to be revolutionized as teachers become facilitators; not simply lecturers. New methods such as game-based learning will not only aid in how students learn, but provide opportunity for our brightest students to create and design the games. Biometrics will allow teachers to track student comprehension; and provide evidence for the need to differentiate instruction on an individual basis. Online education utilizing technologies like Second Life are already being implemented to create global classrooms.

“According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, tech jobs related to environmental innovation are the fastest growing.” ~ Dr. Cait Fuentes King

Recent research has shown how important it is to expose young children to technology. The top 10 career choices (2-12 y.o.) are positions highly visible in their everyday lives and in the media. As they get older, we know that passion follows exposure. Kids should experience the possibilities of tech careers through engaging field trips to high-tech companies, attending summer camps, mentoring and internships. Early introduction to STEM careers allows the creation of skill sets over a longer period of time and inspires kids before the ‘nerd’ factor sets in.

How can science and education collaborate to promote STEM in schools? Scientists working as local school advisors and serving as mentors to students is a good first step. Tech companies can provide funding and resources for STEM education; aiding in the development of career pipelines.

Parents, too, can encourage their kids to explore STEM careers. They can talk to their kids about following their passions; dreaming big! Parents should seek out opportunities such as after-school programs, competitions (chess, robotics, etc.), online classes, and classes at local libraries, museums, and universities.

A transcript of this chat can be found at Storify.