Blog Archives

Perfectionism A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough”

gtchat 07112017 Perfectionism

This week #gtchat welcomed back former #gtchat Advisor, Lisa Van Gemert, to chat about her new book, Perfectionism A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough”. Perfectionism is life experienced in endless attempts to do what can’t be done. Reality never measures up to perception. It is the culmination of too high expectations which ultimately affects one’s quality of life.

“I define perfectionism as the pursuit of excellence in the absence of self- love. It is also often defined as setting impossibly high standards and being unsatisfied with high  quality of work.” ~ Lisa Van Gemert 

Perfectionism is a coat of many colors – overachievement, aversion to risk, and procrastination. An interesting type of perfectionism is managing your self-image; what you want others to see.

There are benefits of viewing perfectionism as being on a continuum. When perfectionism is no longer one single ‘thing”, it’s not seen as something to be fixed. One must deal with it long-term. If you view perfectionism on a continuum, certain behaviors can produce achievable results such as good grades in school.

“The continuum model of anything is less rigid. It doesn’t say, “Fix this,” but rather, “Move slightly, please.” With a continuum, we can ease back to the middle, rather than saying it’s all or nothing. That idea is its own kind of perfectionism. Perfectionists will not typically become laissez-faire, Type B people, but they can move a little to the left on the Bell curve!” ~ Lisa Van Gemert 

Some comorbid conditions can complicate perfectionism. It can be extremely complicated for twice-exceptional kids who already challenge society’s norms. Perfectionism paired with Executive Functioning issues or ADHD are at a disadvantage from the get-go.

How do we balance ‘do your best’ and ‘nobody’s perfect’ for young gifted children? We need to be honest with kids … especially young gifted ones who really want to be perfect but lack understanding. Too often, parents ‘expect’ way too much from gifted children; unwittingly can cause a lot of emotional damage. Adults need to see the fallacy in thinking ‘perfection’ is attainable; do a reality check.

“Not everything is worth “do your best”! Not everything worth doing IS worth doing well. Parents and Teachers can balance this by helping kids identify what is worth doing well and exactly how well. I use a 1-5 scale for deciding how well something should be done. 1 is just do it. 5 is make it as great as possible.” ~ Lisa Van Gemert 

In the book, Lisa presents strategies and action steps which work best in dealing with perfectionism. The first actionable step must be to identify the fact that perfectionism may be affecting one’s life adversely. A strategy based on management rather than elimination of perfectionism will result in a more successful resolution. A transcript can be found at Storify.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at Noon NZST/10 AM AEST/1 AM UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

Head Shot 2014-07-14  About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered        by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Links:

Perfectionism: A Practical Guide to Managing “Never Good Enough” (Great Potential Press)

The Perils of Perfectionism

Perfectionism: Presentation & Handout 

Perfection{ism}: The Occupational Hazard of Giftedness (SlideShare)

The Perfection Deception: Why Striving to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships (Amazon)

Perfectionism, Coping & Emotional Adjustment (pdf)

Perfectionism, Fear of Failure & Affective Responses to Success & Failure (pdf)

What to Do When Good Enough Isn’t Good Enough: Real Deal on Perfectionism: Guide for Kids (Amazon)

Perfectionism Dimensions in Children: Association with Anxiety & Depression

Perfectionism and Peer Relations Among Children with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (pdf)

Overcoming Perfectionism: Finding the Key to Balance & Self-Acceptance (Amazon)

Overcoming Perfectionism in Kids

AUS: Letting Go of Perfectionism

Sprite’s Site: White Poodle, Black Poodle

Cybraryman’s Perfection Links Page https://goo.gl/EbHh2u

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad. Photos courtesy of Lisa Van Gemert and Great Potential Press.

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Best Online Resources for Gifted Information

gtchat Online Resources 06052015 Graphic

Crowdsourcing has long been thought of as one of the strengths of the Internet and specifically social media communities. This week on #gtchat, we asked our participants to tell us what information they most often seek online regarding gifted issues and where to find the best resources. We also wanted to know how important a sense of community was to those who weekly join us at #gtchat. Self-election was considered acceptable and encouraged. Their links are listed below. The transcript for this chat may be found at Storify.

gtchat-logo-with-sponsor

 

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented and sponsored by GiftedandTalented.com is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Fridays at 7E/6C/5M/4P in the U.S., Midnight in the UK and Saturdays 11 AM NZST/9 AM AEST to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our new Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

Head Shot 2014-07-14  About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media    Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Links:

Facebook Groups and Pages:

Gifted Parenting Support Page***

GiftedandTalented.com Page*

Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page

Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT Page

Gifted Homeschoolers Forum Page

Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented Page

About Gifted Children Page

Laughing at Chaos Page

My Little Poppies Page

Mr. Gelston’s One Room Schoolhouse Page

Favorite Blogs:

Gifted Parenting Support***

Sprite’s Site

Laughing at Chaos

Gifted Resources Blog

Gifted Homeschoolers Blog List

Hoagies’ Gifted Blog Hop List

My Little Poppies

Crushing Tall Poppies

Creating Curriculum for Gifted Children

Not Just Child’s Play

Incredible Journey of Giftedness

Red, White and Grew

Personas, Profiles and Portraits

Lisa Van Gemert (aka Gifted Guru)**

Jade Ann Rivera

Mrs. Brown’s Class

Marianne Kuzujanakis … oh how I see

Venspired**

Advanced Academics Update

Teach from the Heart

Bob Yamtich, MFT

Publishers of Gifted Books/Curriculum:

GHF Press

Great Potential Press

Prufrock Press

Kendall Hunt

Free Spirit Publishing

Tumblehome Learning

Hawker Brownlow Education

Royal Fireworks Press

The Critical Thinking Co.

Mindware

TAGT Legacy Award 2015 Nominees

Best Online Courses:

GiftedandTalented.com*

GHF Online

Mr. Gelston’s One Room Schoolhouse

Online G3

Thinkwell Homeschool

Coursera

CTY Online

Art of Problem Solving

William and Mary Center for Gifted Education Navigators

Kahn Academy

Code Academy

TED Ed

Scratch

Online Learning: 3 Approaches for Gifted/2E

General:

About.com Parenting Gifted Children

Cybraryman’s Evaluating Information Page

Byrdseed Gifted**

Mensa for Kids

National Association for Gifted Children

Hoagies’ Gifted

Gifted Homeschoolers Forum

GiftedandTalented.com Expert Picks*

SENG Gifted

Adventures of Hahn Academy Online Gifted Resources

Zometool

Kapla

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad

* #gtchat Sponsor

** #gtchat Advisor

*** Moderator’s professional page

Radical Acceleration and Early College Entrance

AccelerationRadical Acceleration*

Talk about a hot topic! This week’s chat was already in full swing before the moderator even arrived! Radical Acceleration and Early College Entrance elicited strong emotions from both teachers and parents. This week’s guest, Madeline Goodwin (see blog post below) was quite articulate in her portrayal of experiences she had in college … beginning at the age of 13. Now a recent grad, Madeline has her sights set on graduate school in the fall.

Madeline was joined at the chat by her mother, Corin Barsily Goodwin, Executive Director of Gifted Homeschoolers Forum, to share the experience from a parent’s point of view. Many of her comments help put concerns of other parents in perspective and were well received by those at the chat. A full transcript may be found here.

GHF logoGifted Homeschoolers Forum

We learned that Madeline was entirely homeschooled prior to entering college. This allowed her to progress at her own speed without concern from schools about her social development. It also made it easier to access and connect with experts in areas of study in which she was interested. It afforded her the opportunity to associate with people on her intellectual level who had shared interests.

What curriculum did the Goodwin’s use to homeschool? Corin summed it up with this comment,

“We were pretty eclectic. I brought out the workbooks and I faced a mutiny, so we did other stuff. Like visiting 56 National Parks!”

lake-340375_640Yosemite National Park*

It was interesting to note that college wasn’t smooth sailing all the time; but not for the reasons one might expect. Even at the collegiate level, Madeline did not always feel challenged. At times, her young age made it difficult to socialize with older students and of course … she couldn’t even drive yet!

Regrets? None so far according to Madeline. “Academically, college was exactly what I needed, no regrets. Learned a lot, including about work ethic & study habits. College had clubs that I joined and I went to an alternative prom earlier this year!” She credited her family for helping to make the experience a positive one, ” Definitely had lots of support,guidance, and scaffolding from my mother, and patience from my brother who got dragged along!

In the final analysis, it was agreed that the decision to accelerate is a very personal one that needs to be made by the student in consultation with their parents.  It certainly is not for everyone; but it was the right one for Madeline!

Globa

gtchat thumbnail logoGlobal #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Fridays at 7/6 C & 4 PT in the U.S., midnight in the UK and Saturdays 1 PM NZDT/11 AM AEDT to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Pageprovides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community.

Head Shot 2014-07-14About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered byTAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Links:

Livebinder from Leslie Graves

Academic Acceleration at Hoagies Gifted Education Page

Madeline Goodwin’s Bio

Madeline Goodwin: A Homeschooling Success Story

Large-scale Action Needed to Fight Climate Change

Climate Change Linked to Lifestyle Choices, Faith

Radical Acceleration and Early Entry to College: A Review of the Research

Radical Acceleration of Highly Gifted Children (pdf)

A Nation Deceived: How Schools Hold Back America’s Brightest Students Vol. 2 (pdf)

Nation Deceived

Lived Experience of Highly Gifted Adolescent Girls in a Radically Accelerated High School Program (pdf)

All Rivers Lead to the Sea: A Follow-up Study of Gifted Young Adults (pdf)

College @ 13 Young, Gifted, and Purposeful” from Great Potential Press

I Need a Place Where I Belong: The Highly Gifted Child (pdf)

Out-of-level Achievement: Case for Acceleration in New Zealand Secondary Schools (pdf)

Academic Acceleration: A Policy Advocacy Document

Cal State Early Entrance Program

Even Gifted Students Can’t Keep Up in Math & Science, The Best Fend for Themselves

AUS: Policy & Implementation Strategies for Education of GT Students Acceleration Support Package (pdf)

Radical Possibilities for the Profoundly Gifted

Early Entrance to College as an Option for Highly Gifted Adolescents (Amazon)

Acceleration and Early College Resources for Gifted Children

Cybraryman’s Genius Hour Page

* Photo courtesy of Pixabay

Special Guest: Dr. Dan Peters

Dan PetersDr. Dan Peters

Our special guest this week was Dr. Dan Peters, licensed psychologist, co-founder and Executive Director of the Summit Center, specializing in the assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families, with special emphasis on gifted, talented, and creative individuals and families. He is the author of “Make Your Worrier a Warrior A Guide to Conquering Your Child’s Fears” and the companion book for the child, “From Worrier to Warrior A Guide to Conquering Your Fears”.

Worrier to Warrior Books

Some of the topics covered included what behaviors parents/teachers should look for in a child if they suspect anxiety, what  you should do if your child does not want to be helped,  what characteristics of gifted/2e make them susceptible to anxiety and behavioral interventions parents/adults can use to combat anxiety. A full transcript can be found here.

Links:

Senginar: ‘How to Help Your Gifted/2e Child Conquer Fear’ 3/18 from @SENG_Gifted w/ @drdanpeters

Make Your Worrier a Warrior (book)

Dr. Dan Peter’s Bio  

Common Misdiagnosis in Gifted Kids” by Dr. Dan Peters

Monitoring Anxiety in Your Gifted Child” by Dr. Dan Peters

Does Your Child Know the Worry Monster?” by Dr. Dan Peters

From Worrier to Warrior’ with Dr. Dan Peters on Blog Talk Radio for TheCoffeeKlatch

10 Steps for Parents & Kids to Tame the Worry Monster” by Dr. Dan Peters

Worries & Sensory Processing Disorder” (book review)

Interview with Dr. Dan Peters on The Mark Daniels Show (Vimeo)

Dr. Dan Peters’ Website

Dr. Dan Peters Co-Founder of the Summit Center

Managing Anxiety in Gifted Children” by Dr. Dan Peters

Thankful for Two New Sensory Tools: The Worrier to Warrior Books

C ybraryman’s Yoga Page

Cybraryman’s Programming Page

Tres Columnae‘s Website

What is Catastrophizing?

Dr. Peters on Facebook

Dr. Peters at Psychology Today

Dr. Peters at Huffington Post 

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