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Disciplining Smart Kids

 

43 participants and attendees from 22 states, D.C., and 5 countries joined us this week at Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT on Twitter to discuss disciplining smart kids!

So often, discipline is confused with punishment which should not be the intent. Discipline should serve as a teachable moment. Gifted children know when others are trying to control them. They will better appreciate attempts to show them alternative ways to behave.

Gifted children can be a challenge to discipline. They are astute observers of others’ behavior and are ready to apply that knowledge to their own situation. In most cases, gifted children are fully aware of how they should behave; but still are kids. Their knowledge base alone necessitates that their parent/teacher ‘be prepared’ to answer questions.

Asynchronous development – many ages at once – has a pronounced effect on behavior for gifted children. Maturity and intellect are often out of synch. Their ‘want to dos’ far exceed doing what is expected of them for their age. It is not something the gifted child may have control over and may not even recognize when they are younger; especially if they haven’t been identified yet. Asynchronous behavior can be a sign of giftedness; even before identification as gifted.

How can discipline issues in the classroom be prevented? Communication – honest and explicit statement of what is considered appropriate classroom behavior can go a long way in preventing discipline issues. Recognition and understanding of gifted characteristics can also head off inappropriate behavior in the classroom. Build a teacher-student relationship where the teacher can serve as mentor and role-model for their students.

Parents can reduce negative behaviors at home by providing a loving and caring atmosphere that values children as members of the family. They should build a relationship with their child built on honesty, respect for their opinions, and on quality time spent together. Parents can keep the lines of communication open and positive with school personnel and share concerns before an issue arises.

What are some strategies involved in using positive discipline? Strategies for positive discipline should include expressing clear expectations, involving their child in developing expectations, and taking the child’s feelings and abilities into consideration. Positive discipline should be about teaching behavioral skills, adults serving as role models, and remembering to express positive reinforcement whenever possible. The transcript may be read at Wakelet.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Thursdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Fridays at 2PM NZST/Noon AEST/1 AM UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Wakelet. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news and information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

Head Shot 2014-07-14  About the authorLisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Resources:

Discipline and the Gifted Child

Four Ways to Reduce Behavior Problems

Disciplining Gifted Children

How to Discipline your Gifted Child

Tips for Parents: Positive Discipline for Gifted Children

How to Not Argue with Your Gifted Child​​

Our Take on Positive Discipline: From Stickers and Star Charts to Dean’s List

Want to Have Your Heart Broken? Take a Close Look at an Angry Gifted Kid

Gentle Gifted Parenting Defusing Tantrums and Meltdowns with Love

Fostering Self-Discipline

Description of Parents Knowledge of the Nature and Needs of Gifted Children and Their Parenting Styles (pdf)

Managing Life with a Challenging Child: What to Do when Your Gifted but Difficult Child is Driving You Crazy

Today’s Disruptors Can be Tomorrow’s Innovators

Photo courtesy of Pixabay CC0 Creative Commons

Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

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Disciplining Gifted Children

gtchat 04192016 Discipline

 

For a multitude of reasons, disciplining a gifted child can be difficult at best and nearly impossible at worst. Whether you are facing a ‘little lawyer’ or simply a child wise beyond their years, it is important to remember that they are still children who need guidance from time to time. Discipline should be construed as a means to teach, instruct, impart knowledge, guidance; rather than to punish. When adults confuse discipline and punishment, it’s hard for a child to learn from their mistakes. Children learn to fear failure when discipline is only conceived of as punishment for mistakes.

“Asynchronous development: false narratives around “maturity level” clashing with “IQ expectations.” ~ Tracy Fisher

The role of asynchronous development cannot be minimized when considering discipline for the gifted child. Asynchronous development defines a gifted child as experiencing many ages at once. Although they may possess an intellect that allows them to argue their position, they lack the maturity to accept reasonable limits on their behavior. Parents and teachers must be diligent not to succumb to arguing with children; consequences need to be enforced when established rules and conduct are not followed.

” Asynchronous behavior can make it tricky because the same kid who can manage calculus can’t make himself take a shower.” ~ Lisa Van Gemert

Gifted kids may experience academic success at an early age; later may revert to behavior deemed inappropriate for their age. Adults who don’t understand asynchronous development often misinterpret behavior; resort to punitive consequences.

How do we help gifted children cope with emotional intensity which may lead to bad or poor behavior?  Adults need to understand the role emotions play in the life of a gifted child; they may become overwhelming. All children experience emotions; it is the intensity of emotion that can lead to more serious concerns with gifted kids.

gtchat Discipline Photo courtesy Angela Abend

Graphic courtesy of Angela Abend

Society’s perception of conformity can affect how many view a gifted child’s behavior. Mis-perception of gifted behavior may lead adults to believing gifted kids are ‘too’ sensitive; ‘too’ perfectionistic. Some view gifted children as socially awkward; the gifted child begins to feel something wrong with them; self-doubt creeps in.

Sometimes misbehavior can be a sign of a more serious condition such as anxiety or depression rather than a discipline issue. Often a child may become withdrawn; being ‘quiet’ (beyond introversion) due to disengagement. Other signs which may signal a need for help include self-harm; aggressive behavior; threatening comments.

” Tackling misbehavior starts and ends with relationships. Talk to your kids. Treat them with respect. Teach strategies. Start with engagement. Give students a reason to be riveted, engaged, excited about learning. ” ~ Mary Phillips

What measures can be taken to prevent or reduce misbehavior in the classroom? Teachers should look for signs of disengagement and consider differentiation and/or personalized learning plans. Recognition and understanding that misbehavior may stem from boredom; early intervention with a more challenging curriculum can often be the answer. An appropriate response to misbehavior at school should coincide with a child’s age development stage. Valerie King, a teacher from Atlanta, GA, suggests, “More choice for students. More voice for students. More engagement!”

How to deal with misbehavior in the classroom? “Having reasonable expectations. Create a class culture of safety and acceptance. Anticipate. Intervene privately with kindness.” ~ Lisa Van Gemert

A transcript of the full chat may be found at Storify.

gtchat-logo-new bannner

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented  is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at Noon (12.00) NZST/10.00 AEST/1.00 UK  to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.

Head Shot 2014-07-14  About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered        by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime  advocate for gifted children and also blogs at  Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

Links:

When Did Discipline Become a Bad Word?

Discipline for Different Ages

AUS: Raising Gifted Children

School Discipline: Standing Up for All Children in the Public School System

School and Learning Issues: A Closer Look at Giftedness

The Wildest Winds

Discipline and the Gifted Child

Gifted Children At Home (Amazon)

Meeting the Special Needs of Your Gifted Child

Monitoring Anxiety in Your Gifted Child

Four Ways to Reduce Behavior Problems 

How (Not) to Argue with Gifted Children

Sprite’s Site: Boredom Bingo

8 Ways Discipline and Punishment are Not the Same

Image courtesy of morgueFile  Graphic courtesy of Lisa Conrad.

Discipline and the Gifted Child

Scolded

Discipline can be a delicate subject when it involves gifted children. This week at #gtchat we tackled this topic as it related to both parents and teachers. With regard to the difficulty faced by adults when considering discipline, it was agreed that it was more about perspective than how hard it was to accomplish. It should be considered behavior development rather than punishment. Trying to force or coerce a gifted child to do what you want, doesn’t work. Building a relationship built on respect does.

Emotional intensities paired with intellect play a large role when deciding about discipline. A gifted child seeks to deeply understand the world around them and this can lead to perceived misbehavior by others. Oftentimes, simply recognizing when a child shows restraint in displaying appropriate behavior in social settings can add perspective.

Asynchronous development also plays a role. The reasoning and verbal skills of very young gifted can lead to the need to incorporate patience with discipline. Being ‘many ages at once’ can influence behavior in gifted children that may be imperceptible to others.

Preventing discipline problems in the classroom was discussed as well. Problems fade in the classroom when students are placed with intellectual peers and challenged appropriately. Students placed with a teacher who enjoys teaching gifted & learning with them rarely develop discipline problems. (Delisle) When teachers understand how gifted students learn, they can develop a mutually beneficial relationship and respect grows. A full transcript may be found here.

 

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Fridays at 7/6 C & 4 PT in the U.S., midnight in the UK and Saturdays 1 PM NZ/11 AM AEDT to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Pageprovides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community.

Head Shot 2014-07-14About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

 

Links:

How (Not) to Argue with Gifted Children

Positive Discipline for Gifted Children

Positive Discipline: Flip Your Lid (YouTube)

Positive Discipline Guidelines (pdf)

Considerations and Strategies for Parenting the Gifted Child (pdf)

Disciplining Gifted Children

Four Ways to Reduce Behavior Problems from Byrdseed Gifted

Disciplining the Gifted Child Should Be All about Training & Teaching, Not Judging & Punishing

Discipline, A Must for Gifted Kids

Discipline and Your Intense Child

Disciplining the Sensitive Child from Dr. Dan Peters

Growing Up Gifted by Barbara Clark

Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students by Christine Fonseca

 

Image courtesy of MorgueFile.

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