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Unexpected Challenges of Being a Gifted Kid with Guest Ian Byrd

Unexpected Challenge copy

Photo Courtesy of morgueFile

Our guest this week was Ian Byrd of Byrdseed Gifted. Ian is a much sought after presenter at gifted conferences and a well-respected educator within the gifted community. His website, Byrdseed Gifted, and latest venture, Byrdseed.tv (subscription-based), are excellent resources for all classroom teachers. During this chat, we explored the challenges of being a gifted kid based on one of Ian’s presentations that he’ll be giving at this year’s TAGT Parent Conference in Fort Worth, TX in December.

Ian Byrd 2014

Ian Byrd

Contrary to society’s perception of gifted children, the challenges they face are numerous. As participants in the chat pointed out from personal experience, life can be lonely and full of anxiety for a gifted kid. Feelings of not fitting in with age peers, unrealistic expectations by teachers and adults in their lives, obsessive behaviors that are often misunderstood, and relentless boredom in school has a profound impact on their lives. Ian shared, “As I grew up, I became increasingly self-critical, felt that I wasn’t as great as people said, and  grew afraid of taking risks.”

According to Ian, “It’s easy to assume that giftedness will make problems simpler to solve or that being “smart” should make life easier. Giftedness can create over-thinking,perfectionism, and an overly-critical point of view. Simple problems become overly complex!” As the moderator pointed out, “Gifted kids are rarely told what to expect. Adults need to do a better job at facilitating the conversation – what is giftedness?” Often a gifted child is confused about why they feel so different from their peers which leads to further problems. Discussing giftedness in a positive manner can help a child’s self awareness. A full transcript may be found here.

As mentioned earlier, Ian will be presenting at the TAGT Annual Conference on December 4th and December 5th and at the Parent Conference on the 5th  as well. You can register for the Annual Conference or the Parent Conference at these links.

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Fridays at 7/6 C & 4 PT in the U.S., midnight in the UK and Saturdays 1 PM NZ/11 AM AEDT to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Pageprovides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community.

Head Shot 2014-07-14About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

 

Links:

Who is Ian Byrd? Ian’s Bio

“Self Control is a Limited Resource” by Ian Byrd at Byrdseed Gifted

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard (Amazon)

“Why Change is So Hard: Self-Control is Exhaustible”

“10 Social and Emotional Needs of the Gifted” by Ian Byrd at Byrdseed Gifted

“Make Your Class Cozy for Gifted Introverts” by Ian Byrd at Byrdseed Gifted

“Sensitivity in Gifted Kids” by Ian Byrd at Byrdseed Gifted

“Personality Development and the Gifted” (pdf) by Linda Silverman

“Moral Sensitivity of Gifted Children & Evolution of Society” by Linda Silverman via SENG Gifted

“High Anxiety” by Ian Byrd at Byrdseed Gifted

Make Your Worrier a Warrior: A Guide to Conquering Your Child’s Fears (Amazon) by Dr. Dan Peters

“Understanding the High Energy of Gifted Kids” by Ian Byrd at Byrdseed Gifted

Living with Intensity (Amazon)

Intensities at Byrdseed Gifted

Experience and Processing The Funnel and Cylinder Analogy of Giftedness

Future U.S. Manufacturing Jobs Will Require More Brain Than Brawn

“Asynchrony and X-Men” by Ian Byrd at Byrdseed Gifted

Feeling Isolated by Choice

“Dino Obsession: Intellectual Overexcitabilities in Action” by Ian Byrd at Byrdseed Gifted

The Gifted Kids’ Survival Guide: For Ages 10 & Under (Amazon)

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Holiday Stress and Gifted Families with guest Jade Rivera

Jade Rivera

Jade Rivera

Holiday stress is an issue that affects many families with gifted members. This week, Jade Rivera joined us to search for ways to alleviate this stress and enjoy the holiday season. Jade is an educator and consultant who specializes in gifted education for highly sensitive, asynchronous learners. She is hosting a Community Call on November 10th “Holiday Stress & The Gifted Family” for Gifted Homeschoolers Forum.

GHF Holiday Call

Many factors come into play when talking about why gifted children find the holidays difficult to enjoy. The disruption in their daily routine, high expectations of others, perfectionism, empathy for the less fortunate all contribute in some way to the anxiety they feel.

It is possible to prevent many of the negative reactions experienced during the holidays with planning in advance by talking to children and family members about expectations and what to do when it just gets to be ‘too much’. Developing a plan beforehand is key to experiencing a happy holiday season with your family. A full transcript of the chat may be found here.

 

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Fridays at 7/6 C & 4 PT in the U.S., midnight in the UK and Saturdays 1 PM NZ/11 AM AEDT to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Pageprovides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community.

Head Shot 2014-07-14About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

 

Links:

This Halloween, Banish The Boo & Conquer The (Worry) Monster! by Dr. Dan Peters

A Recipe for a Peaceful Holiday Season from SENG Gifted

Holiday Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Children

Cycling Through the Holiday: The IPSE Four-Stip Process for Managing Hard Stuff

Dear Parents: Here’s How to Survive & Thrive at the Holidays from Pamela Price at Red, White and Grew

Happy Crappy Holidays! by Celi Trepanier of Crushing Tall Poppies

oliday Tips & Tricks for High Maintenance Introverts   by Amy Harrington

Holidays, 2e, and the Man in the Red Suit

Keeping my Sanity Through the Holidays with a 2E Child by Care Martin

Naked Holidays: Stripping for Low Stress by Wenda Sheard

Pinterest and the Myth of Holiday Perfection by Jen Merrill at Laughing at Chaos

Surviving the Christmas Season by Jo Freitag at Sprite’s Site

Handling the Holidays with Your Gifted Child: Excitement, Anxiety and Acting-Out Behavior

Managing Your Gifted Kid’s Intensity During the Holidays

Holidays & Your Gifted Child

Reducing Holiday Stress

Parenting Gifted Children through the Holidays

Why Smart Kids Worry with guest, Allison Edwards

Our guest this week was Allison Edwards, author of Why Smart Kids Worry: And What Parents Can Do to Help. Allison began working with gifted kids 15 years ago as a school counselor. She was responsible for identifying, placing and coordinating resources for gifted students. Allison had to learn very quickly what gifted students needed and how they functioned inside the regular classroom. 8 years ago, she started a private psychotherapy practice where she specializes in working with gifted and anxious kids.

Our first question was to ask why smart kids worry. Allison told us that smart kids worry because their minds take them places they aren’t ready to go emotionally. They have the ability to intellectually understand things they can’t emotionally process thus creating anxiety. The ability to think about advanced topics is an asset inside the classroom but can be a detriment outside of it.

What signs should parents look for if they suspect their child is unduly worried? Parents will want to look for changes in behavior. These include: resistance to participate in previously enjoyed activities, stomachaches, headaches or loss of appetite. Kids who process anxiety outwardly will talk incessantly about their worries and/or ask repetitive questions about fears. Kids who process anxiety inwardly will withdraw, pull away and be resistant to talking about their feelings.

What advice did Allison have for parents to help their children to not worry so much? She would advise parents to acknowledge their child’s feelings and resist the urge to rationalize the anxiety away. When parents try to rationalize with an anxious child, children feel devalued and will become defensive and resistant. The best way to help kids handle anxiety is to teach them anxiety-reduction tools. The tools will empower them to handle anxious moments and learn to self-soothe. A partial transcript may be found here.

Allison Edwards Pic

Allison Edwards will be speaking at the 2014 TAGT Annual Parent Conference in Fort Worth, Texas on Friday, December 5th at 12:30 PM. You can register for the TAGT Annual Parent Conference here.

 

Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Fridays at 7/6 C & 4 PT in the U.S., midnight in the UK and Saturdays 1 PM NZ/11 AM AEDT to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Pageprovides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community.

Head Shot 2014-07-14About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: gtchatmod@gmail.com

 

Links:

Why Smart Kids Worry: And What Parents Can Do to Help (Amazon) by Allison Edwards

Why Smart Kids Worry Book Cover

Allison Edwards’ Bio

Allison Edwards’ website

“4 Anxiety-Reduction Tools” for Children from Allison Edwards @CounelingBits (video)

Anxiety Trapper App for iPhone (iTunes App Store)

Allison Edwards’ Blog

12 Traits of Anxious Children (free download) from Allison Edwards

Allison Edwards ‘Why Smart Kids Worry’ (YouTube)

Why Smart Kids Worry on Facebook

Special Guest: Dr. Dan Peters

Dan PetersDr. Dan Peters

Our special guest this week was Dr. Dan Peters, licensed psychologist, co-founder and Executive Director of the Summit Center, specializing in the assessment and treatment of children, adolescents, and families, with special emphasis on gifted, talented, and creative individuals and families. He is the author of “Make Your Worrier a Warrior A Guide to Conquering Your Child’s Fears” and the companion book for the child, “From Worrier to Warrior A Guide to Conquering Your Fears”.

Worrier to Warrior Books

Some of the topics covered included what behaviors parents/teachers should look for in a child if they suspect anxiety, what  you should do if your child does not want to be helped,  what characteristics of gifted/2e make them susceptible to anxiety and behavioral interventions parents/adults can use to combat anxiety. A full transcript can be found here.

Links:

Senginar: ‘How to Help Your Gifted/2e Child Conquer Fear’ 3/18 from @SENG_Gifted w/ @drdanpeters

Make Your Worrier a Warrior (book)

Dr. Dan Peter’s Bio  

Common Misdiagnosis in Gifted Kids” by Dr. Dan Peters

Monitoring Anxiety in Your Gifted Child” by Dr. Dan Peters

Does Your Child Know the Worry Monster?” by Dr. Dan Peters

From Worrier to Warrior’ with Dr. Dan Peters on Blog Talk Radio for TheCoffeeKlatch

10 Steps for Parents & Kids to Tame the Worry Monster” by Dr. Dan Peters

Worries & Sensory Processing Disorder” (book review)

Interview with Dr. Dan Peters on The Mark Daniels Show (Vimeo)

Dr. Dan Peters’ Website

Dr. Dan Peters Co-Founder of the Summit Center

Managing Anxiety in Gifted Children” by Dr. Dan Peters

Thankful for Two New Sensory Tools: The Worrier to Warrior Books

C ybraryman’s Yoga Page

Cybraryman’s Programming Page

Tres Columnae‘s Website

What is Catastrophizing?

Dr. Peters on Facebook

Dr. Peters at Psychology Today

Dr. Peters at Huffington Post 

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