Developing Social Skills in Gifted Children
Posted by gtchatmod
“The day a child is identified as a gifted learner life changes for them and their families.” ~ Angie French
Social skills are necessary skills that allow children to get along with others; especially age-peers. These skills include self-control, good manners, and being able to cooperate, communicate and engage with others. These skills are not innate; they must be taught and gifted children are no exception. Too often adults mistakenly think all gifted children can develop social skills instinctively.
“Social skills is a huge area encompassing all the ways we get along with other people – parents, peers, teachers, etc. [They] include a vast array of “hidden” and “zero order” skills – things only noticed when they fail. GT kids may need extra help with social skills, as their peers might be few and far between ” ~ Dr. Peter Flom
Academic placement can affect social competency. Poor and inappropriate placement exacerbate its development. When gifted kids enter school without social skills, behavior can be misinterpreted as being spoiled rather than being bored and unchallenged. (Ruf)
Who should be responsible for teaching social skills – parents, schools, or both? Although both parents and schools need to teach social skills, it initially starts at home. Basic social skills need to be in place long before the child enters school. For gifted students, schools need to differentiate instruction taking asynchronous development and individual needs into consideration.
“Parents can be their safe place of acceptance. GT kids often feel different – being OK with self can help with social anxiety.” ~ Shanna Weber
The conversation then turned to where and how should social skills be taught in schools – regular classroom; pull-out sessions; with intellectual peers? Social skills can be incorporated into all phases of school life. Pull-out classes can deal with issues associated with giftedness. Regular classrooms provide the opportunity to practice social skills with age-peers. Particular skills may need to be taught when gifted kids are working with older intellectual peers; new circumstances. Margaret Thomas added an important reminder, “GT kids don’t want to be singled out, condescended to, or lumped with label of lacking emotional intelligence.”
“Let kids problem solve social issues. Don’t rescue them but guide them. Nudge them to get comfortable with uncomfortable.” ~ Valerie King
What are some things parents can do to teach social skills at home? Modeling good behavior at home is an important part of parenting. They can be vigilant in discussing the importance of other’s feelings (empathy) in response to one’s own behavior. Jo Freitag of Gifted Resources and Sprite’s Site suggested, “Parents can role play possible situations with their children to try various outcomes.” Parents need to set clear rules and family standards; have high, but reasonable expectations. (Pfeiffer) They should look for signs of aggressive or anxious behavior; consider professional help when necessary. Carol Bainbridge, gifted expert at About.com, added, “Responses children get from parents, peers, and teachers helps them learn what is and isn’t appropriate social behavior.” A transcript of the chat can be found at Storify.
“Final thought: Just as we never stop learning, we never stop building social skills. Everyone can develop confidence with others.” ~ Jeremy Bond
Global #gtchat Powered by the Texas Association for the Gifted and Talented is a weekly chat on Twitter. Join us Tuesdays at 8E/7C/6M/5P in the U.S. and Wednesdays at Noon (12.00) NZST/10.00 AEST/1.00 UK to discuss current topics in the gifted community and meet experts in the field. Transcripts of our weekly chats can be found at Storify. Our Facebook Page provides information on the chat and news & information regarding the gifted community. Also, checkout our Pinterest Page and Playlist on YouTube.
About the author: Lisa Conrad is the Moderator of Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT and Social Media Manager of the Global #gtchat Community. She is a longtime advocate for gifted children and also blogs at Gifted Parenting Support. Lisa can be contacted at: firstname.lastname@example.org
The 7 Habits of Happy Kids (Amazon)
Living with Gifted Children from Gifted Homeschoolers Forum
Writing Your Own Script: A Parent’s Role in the Gifted Child’s Social Development from Gifted Homeschoolers Forum
Posted on April 19, 2016, in Asynchronous Development, Education, Emotional intensity, family, gifted, gifted and talented, gifted education, Mental Health, parenting, Social Emotional, Twice-exceptional and tagged gtchat, social emotional, social skills, TAGT, Twitter. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.